Opioid use disorder (OUD) can affect your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. When these things suffer, your closest relationships are also at risk. When you’re in recovery, rebuilding your relationships and your interpersonal skills can be just as critical as the healing work you do on yourself. We all need different kinds of support from different people in our lives. Our friends, family, partners, peers, and care providers all play unique roles.
Rebuilding relationships in recovery takes time, consistent actions, and patience. You can show your loved ones that you understand how your actions affected them and that you’re committed to making it right. Fractured relationships can be made strong again with commitment from all parties.
In this article, we’ll talk about how opioid use affects families and relationships, how to prepare yourself for repairing a relationship in recovery, and what steps you can take to rebuild trust with loved ones.
How opioid use can impact relationships
The loss of trust is one of the most critical ways OUD can affect relationships. When opioid use becomes problematic, finding opioids and using may start to outrank other life priorities and commitments. The person might simply break their promises. They may also go to great lengths to hide their opioid use from their loved ones. The results are often shame and secrecy. Feelings of mistrust or betrayal can throw other aspects of relationships into question. Is the dishonesty isolated to using drugs or are there other trust issues?
Other effects of opioid use can make different aspects of relationships and families more challenging at the same time. People may experience financial strain from maintaining a supply and issues with performance at work. The effects of the opioids themselves can make them seem more distant and less attentive. Some people may act in ways that are unpredictable or impulsive. Or they may seem to have a totally different personality. By definition, OUD is when a person puts their own health and well-being at risk. This can harm the people around them as well.
Rebuilding trust starts with you
In relationships affected by opioid use, both sides need healing. As the recovery process begins, the person using may have some guilt and shame to work through. Their loved ones are more likely to have pain and fear that need to be addressed. It may be possible to come through this tough time stronger than before. To do this, both parties need to tend to their own emotions and work together to rebuild trust.
As a person with OUD, you can start preparing to rebuild your relationships by coming to terms with your condition and learning how to better manage your emotions and behavior.
Start by looking inward
The first steps are to recognize how your opioid use is affecting your life and make a commitment to yourself to pursue the kind of life you really want. You may need to find a Suboxone provider or a comprehensive recovery program. A whole-person-focused approach can help you address underlying issues and unmet needs. At Groups, our program provides Suboxone and personalized support through your recovery.
Open up about the past
To fully restore trust, it’s important to acknowledge the harm your actions or behavior have caused others. Making excuses, denying, or minimizing this can get in the way of your efforts to rebuild. It’s also critical to recognize that apologies are only the beginning. Real change involves holding yourself accountable and taking responsibility for your actions moving forward.
Show consistency through actions
The real repair happens when you follow through on your commitments and get closer to meeting your personal goals, recovery or otherwise. Small actions over time add up to big improvements.
Practice patience
People and relationships don’t change overnight. Healing will take time, and it’s important not to rush the process. Accepting your shortcomings and showing yourself compassion will help you be more graceful with others. Celebrate the wins along the way while working toward your long-term goals.
How to rebuild trust in a relationship during recovery
Doing work on yourself first helps you build up your capacity and your skills for connecting with others. It also sets you up to start the conversation about rebuilding trust from a place of honesty and integrity.
Start small
When you’re starting from scratch, it’s best to start with low-stakes interactions and small commitments. Meet up for coffee or a meal before you try to work together on more important things. Once you’re on better terms, you can start to build up to bigger responsibilities gradually. Again, celebrate your victories together!
Create new positive memories
Find things you can do together that are positive and enjoyable for everyone involved. You might get into some new hobbies or explore your shared interests. Try setting up regular check-ins or hangouts. Focus on the here and now and start looking toward the future, not just the past.
Address financial and practical issues
Finances and life responsibilities can be a big source of stress in relationships. Getting your schedules to line up or arranging child care are both potential challenges that can turn into opportunities for positive change. Being transparent about money matters and responsibilities can help you have more productive discussions and find solutions together.
Work on your communication
To communicate effectively, each person involved needs to know how to listen and how to speak in a clear, respectful way. Don’t just wait your turn to speak. Practice listening to really understand the other person and validating their feelings. Identify mutual goals, expectations, and boundaries. Then talk about how you’ll respond when things go off track. Use “I” statements to stay focused on your feelings and actions and avoid making accusations.
Include professional support
Working out your relationships, especially with family or a partner, can be difficult without professional guidance. Just having an unbiased third party present can help facilitate smooth conversations. A counselor or therapist can also provide helpful insights, practical support, and education.
Managing setbacks and challenges
Nobody’s perfect, and there will be challenges that shake even the strongest relationships from time to time. The most important difference is knowing how to do the maintenance and repair work to get through these setbacks. This takes time, and making mistakes is a part of the process. Mistakes help you learn to balance compassion and forgiveness with commitment and effort.
If you use opioids again
This is a possibility that you should discuss with your loved ones, as returning to use is common during recovery. Hiding opioid use and shaming yourself aren’t helpful — they can make you feel bad about yourself or like change isn’t impossible. A compassionate environment where you can approach your behavior with honesty and curiosity can help you learn from these experiences. Keep in mind that you may need to go back a couple of steps to build up trust again.
When progress feels slow
Healing isn’t linear. This means that you may struggle again after making lots of progress. This doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It just means you’re dealing with something difficult. Remember to lean on your support system, including treatment providers and a peer support group. Keep focusing on your personal growth, even when it’s hard.
Dealing with ongoing hurt
Some relationship wounds take a long time to heal. The best approach is not to force forgiveness or reconciliation, but to respect others’ timelines and decisions. Try to give them space and show up for the commitments you’ve made. You can’t make someone come around and trust you again, but you can show them you’re serious about repairing that trust.
Find support for your recovery and relationships at Groups
Very often, it is possible to repair relationships that have been affected by opioid use. It’s important for both parties to have time and space to process their own emotions. They also need to try to see from the other person’s point of view. Once this has been done, the work of rebuilding trust can begin. You can build a strong foundation by starting with small interactions and gradually working up to bigger commitments.
At Groups, we provide comprehensive care that includes support for your interpersonal skills and relationships. We encourage families to get involved with their loved one’s treatment, and we can help you work through the challenges of rebuilding trust and communicating effectively. Membership at Groups includes Suboxone and peer support groups, and we provide practical support to help you toward your life goals.
Are you looking for support with recovery and relationships? Give our Recovery Support Specialists a call today at 888-858-1723.
We provide treatment across the country — and we’re always expanding. See if we offer care in your state, either online or at one of our 130+ local offices. If Groups does not offer treatment in your area, you can locate other treatment options here.
